I’ve been doing what I love for the last two years, living passionately and only focusing on my hobbies. I begin by capturing images every day, writing blogs/articles, and creating photo manipulations in Photoshop. Do anything I want as long as it doesn’t cost a lot of money. We only live once, and I can’t wait to be happy just because I’m broke, I mean, what if I die tomorrow? But I feel like I’m swimming against the current, and it seems wrong on so many levels even though I know it’s not.
1. My Parents Gave Me Freedom and Shaped Who I am Now
As the first child of working parents, I must learn to do everything on my own. My parents taught me many things, including how to be independent while still showering me with affection on a daily basis. They gave me the freedom to do and be whatever I want; they never forced me to be ‘something,’ they are really lovely and supportive. That is the best privilege I have ever had. I used to decide many things for myself since early childhood and it has shaped who I am today.
But I wasn’t totally free until I left home at 19 years old. While living at home, the surroundings influenced me and made me feel as if I had to live up to society’s expectations, even though my parents never compelled me to do so. But my thoughts refuse to focus on myself, and I’ve been in this situation for a long time as if there’s a fog blocking everything.
I discovered what I want to accomplish with my life while studying accountancy at university, and my dream has nothing to do with accountancy or finance. It has something to do with science and nature; imagine living in nature and learning science along the way while surfing, swimming, skydiving, and doing other outdoor activities. That is the point of life, at least for me. Not a bustling metropolitan life or climbing the corporate ladder.
2. Covid Sucks yet I Found Myself
At the age of 19, I left the house and found work and a place to live. I began to understand myself better, and I felt more confident than before. I was studying at university and working full-time at that moment. I became so busy with studying, assignments, tests, and the office job. I forgot about my dream. I knew I wanted to work in a science or nature-related field, such as meteorology, but it was nearly impossible, which meant I needed a backup plan. At the end of 2019, I graduated from university. I had plenty of plans, including looking for a new career. Everything, however, was postponed due to Covid.
Covid sucks, but it’s where I found myself. Because the world was slowing down, I could do whatever I wanted without feeling guilty since everything I did was not leading me to success (not yet). It was the first time I recognized that, along with science, I enjoy visual art, whether in the form of photography, digital art, or painting. I prefer art that focuses on nature, landscape, post-apocalyptic, sci-fi, dystopian, chaotic, and unrealistic themes. Because I was so hopeless I either want to live in a better reality or destroy this world. I use those concepts as my preference in photo manipulation.
3. Freedom is AMAZING
Freedom is amazing. I wake up every morning feeling alive because I know that aside from what I need to do to earn money, I have complete control over my life. I know what I want to do, how to get there, and I put in the effort every day. Do weekly and monthly evaluations to determine which aspects need to be improved. Do your best every day in everything, and live to the fullest.
The sense of freedom arose from your mindset, which you developed over time with the support from people around you; it can only occur when you focus on yourself. Money provides you with limitless freedom of choice, but if you don’t have enough money to buy freedom, you may start with your point of view; don’t let money or other material things prevent you from living freely.
I wouldn’t say I’m entirely free. I can’t go swimming or tennis every morning because I have to go to work and stay at the office until 4.30 pm; I can’t live in a minimalistic house or fancy apartment, or collect every shade of Dior lipstick because my paycheck clearly can’t buy it. But living without external pressure is priceless, and living with your passion is more beautiful than a luxury holiday in Paris.
The feeling is irreplaceable and lasts longer; it lives with you and transforms you into a better person than you were yesterday. For the first time after a long period of depression, I enjoy living because life is wonderful. I, myself, and my mindset decide to make every second worth living.
4. But It is Against the Current
Freedom tastes sweet, but everyone else prefers savory, and I start to question everything. Doubts began to creep in, not because I believed my life was bad, but rather because I was still broke, I need to earn as much money as possible, and to do that I have to find a new job with a better career path and salary.
The process of seeking for a job is stressful for me; I feel left behind as others have begun to have good careers while I am still stuck here. Well fuck career, all I need is money, but the problem is I also don’t have much money.
People have described me as an idealist, and I agree. I live by my own rules, don’t care about others, live my life, and do whatever I want. I don’t consider that as a mistake, but once again, I was compelled to live in reality, following the majority of people. It makes me sad; will my freedom slowly be taken away?
5. Yes Fuck Career but Maybe I Need That
I work at a place where the salary is good enough for daily needs, but as a human being, I crave more; I want a lot of money to travel, buy this and that, and I also seek the freedom that comes with having a lot of money.
I was looking for a remote job, which is why I studied digital marketing for nearly 9 months only to discover that I’m not passionate about it. I was also trying to learn programming, but I think it’s not for me. Then realized that I enjoy design and visual art; I’m still terrible at it but am eager to improve.
But starting a new career takes a lot of time, and I have to switch jobs immediately to get a better income. I feel stuck living in my current job with no room for growth.
I need progress, and change, both in my career and finances. I can’t live only focusing on hobbies, not until I make more cash. But don’t get me wrong: I’ll continue to do my things, if perhaps less often than before because I can’t live without something that makes me feel alive.
6. So, Where’s the Solution?
If I knew the exact solution to this problem, I wouldn’t be writing this blog right now. As I write this, I have applied to at least eight different companies for accounting and digital marketing positions. I’m frustrated by all of this, but I know that if I keep moving forward, everything will be better. Even though the world forces you to fit in with society, never give up on your dreams, because why should you? Why should I?
I publish a new blog or article every Monday. Thank you for taking the time to read this far. Cheers!!
