What Is the Best Option? Quit?
Today is the end of my seven-day writing challenge, my grammar is still suck. However, I realized I enjoy writing stories about my personal experience. The first intention of why I joined medium is to share my learning journey in science, economic, and photography/art. But apparently, writing anything related to science and economic feel like homework. So, I decided to stick with photography & art.
I live in Indonesia where most people here do street photography, portrait, food/product photography, some of them do landscape and nature. So how about me? I do everything I want, weird photo, weird editing. Once I learned food & product photography then I stopped cause it’s kind of frustrating to stay at the room, I want to capture a picture in the free space. It is indeed generated a lot of money, but hey let me live in peace, don’t talk about money, please, I want to do something because I love it not because of money.
My photography style influenced by twitter community, I joined to the club when NFT is at its peak, I found a lot of amazing artists in various genre. My favorite as I shared on the previous post are motion blur and cinematic concept. Even so, I’m stuck with the idea of how to make a masterpiece with these concepts, I have this idea on my mind, but I don’t know how to execute it. I feel hopeless, not only because I’m not able (not yet) to execute my idea but my photos have zero improvement this month (well, except my first waterfall photo). Today is Day 343 of my daily raw project, how can I make a huge improvement in less than 30 days?
I want to stop and rest, but I couldn’t give up on my dream. I’m planning to write photo essay this week, since I never tell stories about my photos, a good idea, isn’t it? Or maybe it just an excuse to not improve my photography skill. To be honest, showing up every day is hard, create something new every day is even harder. I feel the world is moving too fast, and the pressure to always give my best every day is makes me want to disappear. I know consistency is a key, I know it’s okay if my best only equal 70% from the previous day, I know whatever happen I need to keep going but gosh this is so suffocating, not to mention I must take care of other things too.
I won't, can’t give up, for traveling the world, learn surfing, to do skydiving, to watch sunset at the beach, to watch and taking picture of aurora, to give my parents the live they deserve, to tell people other perspective of the world, that life is not always black and white, life is beautiful. I promise to my family if I’ll be their privilege, because I believe in myself and I love them. So, at least I have to survive for them, right?
Jeeez anyway, sorry for ranting, and thanks for reading. Cheers!